


Fallen Angels

by WinterCB



Series: The Winter Cherry Blossom [3]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Post-Fullmetal Alchemist: Conqueror of Shamballa, Romance, Royai - Freeform, What is love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:41:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21544696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterCB/pseuds/WinterCB
Summary: Even with the promise of wealth and power, he chooses instead to return to desolation, where he finds peace.It is all good until someone brings him news about his former subordinate.Prequel to ‘Days Till the Sun Rises’.
Relationships: Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Series: The Winter Cherry Blossom [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1270712
Kudos: 13





	1. How it All Started

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Arissarr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arissarr/gifts).



> I don’t know how will go but we’ll see. :D

_ She could not think straight at all after that call. Although she was not told much except to go to the hospital, she could guess why. _

_ Heaved out wearily, Hawkeye figured she did not have much time left with her grandfather, whom she barely knew. There were so many questions that she wanted to ask him, especially about her mother. _

_ Hawkeye shook her head. She should not be so selfish. Most importantly, she had to think how to cheer a dying old man. _

_ "Lieutenant Hawkeye..." _

_ Hawkeye looked up with widened eyes. "General Mustang!" _

_ "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you but..." _

_ The jabber became irrelevant to her as she found the winter coat that draped over Mustang's forearm. "I see..." Hawkeye relaxed her eyes. "You're leaving." She tried to keep her expression as neutral as possible, but she knew she could never hide it from him—her disappointment. _

_ Mustang had stopped talking by the time Hawkeye looked into his eyes. Any second thoughts or lies should have been made known to her. _

_ She was not sure if she should be relieved, or feeling hurt, as there was neither a tiniest bit of regret, nor any sense of attachment found in those raven eyes. And judging his audacity to return the gaze and not recoiled, she knew he was determined to do what he deemed right. _

_ Hawkeye's brow twitched, and she looked away, cursing her own immaturity for the thought that his regain of flame alchemy and eyesight would change things for the best. _

_ "You did well, Lieutenant. With you leading the team, I have no worry." The supposed words of encouragement turned out to be sharp blades. Not just stabbing her in the heart, it was twisting at it to inflict more damage. _

_ Did he not know? That she did not take the responsibility of leading the team out of her will? _

_ Slapped her palms flat on the table, Hawkeye stood up. _

_ "Lieutenant?" Mustang looked surprised. _

_ Great. He saw her at last. "What is it that you are trying to achieve, General?" She tried hard not to yell. Even so, it was lunch time, which gathered enough audience in the mess hall for a mini concert. _

_ Hawkeye could not care anymore. "I need to hear it from you. You owe me that much." _

_ The way Mustang looking at her without a suitable word had not stopped her. Did he really have nothing to tell her? "What about your goal? Your ambition to climb to the top?" _

_ Hawkeye knew she had crossed the line, that she should not talk about that topic openly. Not only that it could stir up unnecessary rumors, but also direct jealousy upon her former superior, making his path even more difficult. _

_ "That is in the past," was Mustang's answer. He had been so calm that she wondered where that cocky jerk had gone. "You may not accept it, but I am satisfied with my current assignment." _

_ "In a small outpost? That place is not even populated!" Hawkeye expected Mustang to fire back, to reproach her of that derogatory remark. _

_ Instead, Mustang smiled. "It is actually more viable than you think." He turned, began to leave. "You should come visit, sometime." _

_ Straightened her posture and staggered back, Hawkeye let her hands slipped from the table and fell to her sides. She was convinced that in his world there was only duty and no exception, not even for her. What was she hoping? That after everything she had done he would have given her a place? That was him, all right? Despite the fact that he had no longer dreamed to be the head of the country, he was still the man of duty and honor. Was that not why she was enthralled to him from the beginning? To his hopeless yet idealistic sense of self-denial? _

" _ Would you say the same if you are given all the power a man could have, right here and right now?" She could be out of her mind, but given all possible options, that seemed to benefit everyone the most. Besides, one hell or the other, it made no difference. _

_ Mustang faced her again. "Lieutenant..." he was more likely to be perplexed than surprised, "what are you—" _

_ "Marry me, General Mustang." _

_ It was all or nothing. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At first I could not imagine that Riza would be the one to propose to Roy.
> 
> That idea seemed weird if without a valid reason. But the storyline seemed to give her that chance.
> 
> These two...
> 
> Come to think of it. They spent so much time together. Is there no temptation at all?


	2. Foolish

"Are you really sure about this?"

Rubbing her knuckle, Hawkeye kept her eyes down and stayed silent. What if she was to see his disappointed face?

"Don't get me wrong. General Mustang is a great soldier and a good man. It's just..."

She clenched her fists, knowing what he was going to say.

"...I don't think he has any romantic interest in you." Grumman's statement resounded in Hawkeye's head and her heart wrung.

...as if she did not know that already. "He doesn't," Hawkeye replied curtly.

"Then why?"

They called her a fool, for wasting her life on a lost cause. "I just know that he has the quality of a leader, and I want to help him." Listening to herself, she could taste the foul in her mouth.

"Oh Riza! My poor child!"

Sympathy—she received that a lot, to the point that it numbed her. Not that she blamed them, since she had not made it easier for anyone who attempted to reach her. "You said you would give me a choice." Her voice was as mechanical as she could get. Just that once, she allowed a child to run her mind.

Grumman stared at the determined face. "What about him? What makes you think that he won't run away again?"

"He won't." There was not the slightest hesitation in her answer. "He's using his flame alchemy now." Hawkeye had prepared her case before she walked into that room. Her arguments were sound.

"Riza..."

Hawkeye jolted at the hand that closed her fist.

"Do you know what marriage is?"

Did it matter?

Grumman exhaled. "I should have discussed this topic with your mother when I had the chance." Regret hung on his face. "Now, I'm telling you." Assured that he still had Hawkeye's attention, Grumman continued, "Love is part of it, but it doesn't stop there. It is a mutual vow between two people, and is sacred. Marriage is neither a tool to achieve selfish needs, nor about giving and taking. For two people to be together and stay that way, they need to care for each other, pull each other up when the other falls. However hard their lives would become, they must never let go each other's hand. Do you understand that?"

Grumman should have known by now that focus and extreme patience were some attributes that made a sniper deadly. But, she was still green in grasping the profound meaning of life.

"This path that you choose is going to stick for the rest of your life. So please... choose wisely."

Hawkeye gripped firmly on the hand over her fist. "My mind is set, Grandfather." It was not her first time to plunge into deep water. She might regret it later, but it was her life, her decision, and her own responsibility.

Grumman narrowed his eyes. "I see." What else could he say to her? "I should have seen it coming when you kept his team for more than two years."

"I'll be fine." She could only say that to herself. "General Mustang is not as hopeless as you think."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While most people might see Riza as the cool head in the team, she shared a fair bit in making rash decisions, especially when it involves Roy.
> 
> And yet their relationship is simply platonic?
> 
> Like I would believe.


	3. Rejection

_"General Mustang is not as hopeless as you think."_

She never thought that word bit her that soon.

“Please, sir. Don’t blame Lieutenant Hawkeye. I solely responsible for this.”

She kept quiet as she watched him talking to Grumman.

The old commander put both hands behind his hips, and turned away. 

“She was just trying to help.” He tried his best to defend her. Little did he know, his words upset her.

She looked to her grandfather, who had fallen silent since Mustang barged into the office. 

The old man had just been discharged from the hospital days ago. Yet fully recovered, his frail body was put to test.

All because of her recklessness.

Nonetheless, Grumman was holding it for her sake. “Tell me, Corporal Mustang.” Grumman finally broke the silence. He turned to face him. “What is Riza meant to you?”

“Commander!” She stood up but Grumman showed her the palm.

“Mustang. If you have any respect for her at all… you owe her that much.”

“Please, Grandfather!” She moved quickly to Grumman’s side. “Don’t say it anymore!” 

“You have to hear it from him.” Grumman stressed then stared at Mustang. “Talk, Mustang.”

“Sir…” Mustang looked at Grumman solemnly. “Lieutenant Hawkeye is a great soldier, a dedicated bodyguard, and a friend. There is nothing I have for her except respect.”

She clenched her fists and looked away.

“Riza is my granddaughter.” Grumman said it as if Mustang did not know already. “Anyone marries her will get all the power and wealth in the world.”

“Grandfather!”

“I’m too old for this, Mustang. If you marry her, I’ll make you a full-fledged general.”

“I’m begging you, Grandfather. Please! Just stop!” She was foolish. Very foolish. What had she done!

Mustang stood still. His eyes wide.

“Just tell me what you want—” Grumman was seized by a coughing fit. 

“Grandfather!” She managed to catch the old man’s arm before he fell onto the desk.

“Sir, you should not use the lieutenant as a trade. She deserves better.”

“You are damn right!” Grumman cried out. “She deserves better. And it is not you.” 

Mustang looked down, and he did not refute.

“Go back to the North…” Grumman took a while to catch his breath. “And don’t ever come back.”

Mustang saluted and left. He never looked back.

“Do you see that now, Riza?” Grumman turned to her. 

He did not have to say it. 

She knew all too well from the beginning.

Once Mustang had decided, he would not change his mind.

Not even for her.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not only that he is stubborn, Roy is also very ruthless.
> 
> Just because Riza had built him the bridge, it doesn’t mean that Roy will take it.
> 
> Maybe he just like to torture himself.
> 
> Come on, Roy! The homunculi are dead. The world is at peace. What else do you want?


	4. Worthy for Her Hand

The door opened and closed. His heavy boots clumped on the hardwood floor, heading to a heap of firewood. The snow on his boots melted and marked his footprints as he walked. He threw a few into the fireplace. With a rod in his hand, he poked on the woods. 

Just as he was about to sit down, the phone rang.

He turned and laid the metal rod beside the mantel.

Must be his sergeant checking on him. Since the little stunt he pulled on the Shamballa insurgence, his superior had been getting paranoid.

He knew better. It was most likely an order from Grumman to keep an eye on him.

“Hello?”

_ “General?” _

Other than the sergeant, the outpost rarely got a call, even less from his former team.

“It’s Corporal.” He had to remind his former subordinate. Holding on to the past would not help anyone to move forward. 

Especially himself.

_ “Have you heard?” _

He raised his brows and relaxed as he listened to the caller. 

_ “... you have to stop her.” _

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Lieutenant Havoc… thanks for telling me, but there is nothing I can do.”

_ “Don’t you have anything to say to her?” _

“I have said enough. Please congratulate her for me.”

_ “Sir—” _

He hung up and sat by the fireplace.

He took off his gloves and put them aside. His palms reached out to the warmth from the burning firewood.

It was good to hear that she had moved on.

Havoc hung up the receiver and sighed.

“Lieutenant Havoc?”

A chill sent along his spine as he turned around. “Lieutenant Hawkeye…” He had a wide grin on his face.

Hawkeye glanced at the phone behind Havoc, and the latter glided his arm along the desk to block her view.

“You should not call him.” Hawkeye went to her desk and resumed her work.

“You sure you want to do this?”

Hawkeye paused and raised her head. “It is the right thing to do.”

Really?

Havoc grinned. “If you told them you are married to me, maybe they will look for someone else?” 

Hawkeye suddenly stood up and walked up to Havoc.

His blood sugar dropped.

“Thanks, Lieutenant Havoc.” 

He blinked at the light grip on his shoulder. The cigarette dropped between his lips.

His life was spared, but he felt no joy.

As he had lost someone he knew.

“So…” The minister sniffed in the sweet aroma of the tea. “There is a rumor.”

Grumman looked up. This kind of diplomatic small talk had been going too often.

“Lieutenant Hawkeye is seeing someone.” The minister put down his cup. “Someone in the military.”

Gave them an inch and they asked for a mile. They just did not know when to let go.

Grumman guffawed. “You are not going to believe that, are you?”

The minister crossed his legs and leaned back on the chair. “Is it true then?”

Aerugan… 

“Mister Prime Minister, my granddaughter has a few suitors, but she had never been in a relationship before.”

“It would be best that way. We do not want someone tarnished to join the royal family. Do we?”

Grumman resisted to clench his fists. Had not the South been in the Aerugan’s hand, he would give the minister a taste of his bony Amestris’ fist. 

The minister stood up and wiped his hands with a handkerchief. “Mind I suggest that you quiet those big mouths? You know… now that the wedding is near and all.” He walked towards the door as Grumman silently glared at the man until the door latched.

_ Clang! _

Pieces of fine porcelain scattered the floor.

The old commander clenched his fists. His nose blew out heavy air.

The State used to be a great country. Now they had to sacrifice a woman to save them.

He did not usually go to the town. Thanks to the broken generator, he had to take a two-hour journey on foot for the spare parts he needed.

Every time he arrived, there was always something new.

While the north were mostly covered in white throughout the year, the town remained active regardless of seasons.

Green and brown flags joined on ropes, hung from one end to the other.

Green from the State. Brown was the Aerugan.

Music played. People were dancing.

It seemed like there was some sort of celebration.

He wondered why their arch-enemy involved. Perhaps they had reached a truce?

“A truce?” The hardware store owner wiped his hands that were soiled by diesel oil. “More like taking advantage.” 

“They are bandits!” One of the customers cried out. “They came and robbed the South and now they want our women!”

“That poor girl!” The owner shoved a headline into Mustang’s face. 

He eyes went wide when he saw who it was, especially the picture of a man next to the woman.

“Pretty right? Such a shame.” 

Mustang fished out some coins from his pocket and slammed onto the counter, before he shambled his way back to the outpost.

He knew that she was marrying a prince.

What he did not know was that the man was the first in line to the throne—the crown prince of Aerugo, Claudio Rico, who was turning eighty next month.

Her kempt bangs laid slick and waved across her forehead. The rest of her hair twisted to a low bun, where the tip of the veil pinned on.

The white dress billowed from her waist and flowed to her feet. The hem spread on the floor. The fabric weighed on her. Her heart even more.

“You look beautiful.”

She turned. “Winry.”

Winry let go of the door and walked up to the bride. Her gullible eyes fixed on the bride’s face as if there was a smudge.

“You are not happy.”

Hawkeye turned to the full sized mirror. 

She was looking at her own reflection, but the woman in the mirror was not herself. 

When she walked out of that room, she would forever have to poise herself as someone but herself.

If she was not Grumman’s granddaughter, would it be different?

He pulled on the motor and the machine vibrated and howled.

He watched the light bulb at the porch turned bright and glanced at the sky.

The sun began to set. He had made it just in time.

He pushed the door and went in. The headline on the floor caught his eye.

He did not even remember grabbing it with him.

He lowered his knees and picked up the paper.

Watching her, he frowned sadly.

There were many reasons to explain why she had to do it.

He just hoped that it was not because of him.

“Get out! I said get out!”

She heard the growl as she barged into Grumman’s office.

She stopped at the mess on the floor. Her grandfather plummeted onto the chair. Face red and coughing nonstop.

“Grandfather!” She rushed to his side and held his hand.

“Get… him. Get him… out!” Grumman reached out his hand as the coughing fit seized him.

She patted lightly on his chest. She turned her head to what was behind her and she saw the soldier in white furcoat.

“General, you cannot do this to your granddaughter. That man was almost eighty years old!”

Why? Why now?

“You… you think I sell my granddaughter for power?”

Her brows knitted together as she stood up. 

She walked up to him. And he fell silent. “Corporal. You have to leave. Now.”

She turned to Grumman. He tapped her hand that perched on his forearm.

The music played, and the door opened.

She walked into the hall. Cheers and applause numbed her ears.

Flower petals showered from the sky. They fell and paved her way to the altar of no return.

She had finally made a decision. She had finally moved on. 

“Lieutenant…”

Her quick pace stopped at once. She could not do this anymore. “You should not be here.” She did not turn to face him. She might lose it.

“You can’t do this to yourself.”

“Tell me.” She turned about and looked at him in the eye. “What can I do?” She was not expecting an answer from him.

True enough. He gave none.

“Just leave.”

“It’s not worth it.”

“It’s too late for that. Don’t you think?”

He was quiet again. His brows pressed together. “You can blame me.”

She closed her eyes and opened again. The lump in her throat took her voice. 

If blaming him helped, she would have done it. But it was herself. She took it on herself. 

“You can choose to give up your ambition, but I will not forget my duty.” She did not wait to turn and walk away, leaving him behind.

She clenched her fists. It was a decision she made for herself. 

And it could not be for him.

She marched along the red carpet on her high heels. Her heart pounded as she was near the end of her journey.

Her husband-to-be stood tall over the other end. 

He gave her his hand and she took it.

Standing side by side, the couple turned to face each other.

He smiled gently at her. His eyes warmed hers.

His raven hair slicked back. He looked sharp in the navy blue mess dress. 

She chuckled when they exchanged rings. His hands trembled when he pushed the ring along her finger.

He drew her neck to himself. His lips were soft on hers.

The wedding was epic. Their marriage marked history.

They just did not know.

The man who played as her husband, only married her for political gain.

His name was Roy Mustang. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wait!
> 
> What?
> 
> How?
> 
> I wonder when Roy will stop being emo and appreciate what he has.
> 
> It is tiring for someone who had to chase after him.


	5. Even into Hell

He followed her out of Grumman’s office. The farther they go, the faster her pace became.

“Lieutenant…” He had stopped her, but she did not turn to face him.

“You should not be here.”

She did not need to remind him what he did.

“You can’t do this to yourself.” He sounded like a jerk, but it was all true from his heart.

“Tell me...” She turned about and looked at him in the eye. “What can I do?” 

That was the same question he had asked himself. He did not have an answer.

“Just leave.”

“It’s not worth it.” He could not come up with better words. In fact, he was not sure what he was trying to achieve.

“It’s too late for that. Don’t you think?”

He could not deny. “You can blame me.” 

She closed her eyes and opened again. 

He failed her again.

“You can choose to give up your ambition, but I will not forget my duty.” She did not wait to turn and walk away, leaving him behind. 

He did not blame her. He was the one who made that decision and forced her to swallow it. 

A few more steps and he would lose her forever. He could not save Hughes when the latter died. Should he stand there and let her be?

“You said you would follow me!” Mustang cried out. “Even into hell!”

He just wanted her to know that he had not forgotten.

She stopped. “I did, but that man died with King Bradley.”

His feet riveted to the ground, eyes watching her disappear from his sight.

“Is that what she said?”

The weather was warming up. It was a fine day to bring a child to the playground.

Mustang watched Elysia playing on a swing. The girl seemed to have grown a lot taller from his last visit. The lack of company behind the girl wrenched his heart. If Hughes were still alive, he would have been the one behind the swing.

Hughes was loyal to him, and he perished. Was everyone who followed him going to be like Hughes?

“You have to save her, Roy.”

“It’s not my call.” He leaned forward. His elbows propped on his knees. “Besides, the lieutenant never makes a rash decision. I’m sure she has everything considered.”

Gracia sighed. 

Mustang smiled weakly. “As absurd as it sounds…” His eyes stared at the navy blue sleeve around his left arm. “She does not have any choice as long as she wears the uniform.” If she pulled out, two countries would be at war.

“Did that uniform force you both to sign the paper too?” She took out a letter-size envelope and gave him. 

Mustang held it in his hands and looked at Gracia in confusion. 

“Maes said not to give it to you unless you ask.”

He wondered why.

Gracia stood up and went to her daughter. “Elysia, it’s time to go home.” 

The girl jumped off the swing and took her mother’s hand. Both mother and daughter went to Mustang.

“I know nothing about war or how to govern a country.” Gracia told Mustang. “What I see is a lieutenant waiting for the man whom she once followed even into hell.”

“Bye, Uncle Roy.” The girl waved to Mustang as she followed her mother.

Mustang watched them leave. Then, he looked at the envelope.

He opened it and pulled out a certificate. 

His eyes widened.

There was his signature on the bottom left. Hawkeye’s on the bottom right. Between them were Grumman and Bradley’s as witnesses.

If not for the date, he almost forgot that was eight years ago. By right, the paper should have been destroyed when the covert mission was over.

Hughes… 

Mustang closed his eyes. Even in the afterlife, his best friend still tried to meddle in every aspect of his life.

Mustang wore his glove and snapped. The burning paper slipped from his hand, fully consumed, and turned into ashes before it touched the grass.

Hawkeye had chosen to sacrifice herself for the greater good. The least he could do was not to get in her way.

First step was to inform her.

“Careless! How could you be so careless?” Grumman slammed his fist on the armrest. “Did anyone see you meeting him?”

“We did not meet.” Hawkeye stood beside Grumman. “He left a note. Encrypted.”

“Damn Hughes! If I find out that Mustang had a play in this too—”

“I don’t think he knew, Commander.”

Grumman let out a breath. “The Aerugans are on our tail. We can’t let them be anywhere near our troops.”

“Commander Aichi reported that they are ready for the breach. As for the Aerugans, I’ll think of something to stall them.”

“Do everything you can. Once we have secured South border, we’ll be able to turn the tides.”

“The only tide you turn will be against yourself!” The Prime Minister barged into Grumman’s office and slapped a piece of paper onto the desk. 

As soon as he saw the title on the paper, Grumman’s eyes went wide. He could recognize his own signature, even when it was upside down. The date of the document was almost eight years ago.

“How could this…” Even Hawkeye lost her words. 

“Your registrar has an excellent archive.” The Prime Minister glanced at them. “A married woman is the future crown princess of Aerugo? What an utter disgrace!”

“Mister Prime Minister—”

“No, Commander! You will not explain your way out! You have humiliated and committed a fraud against the Kingdom of Aerugo.” He glared at Grumman then Hawkeye. “There will be retribution.” The Prime Minister walked towards the door, which shut before he managed to get out.

Hawkeye drew her hands away from the doorknob and went to her sidearm. 

The Prime Minister stumbled back. The safety pin clicked on his ears. “You can’t possibly think—” 

Grumman rolled his eyes as he could no longer stand it anymore. He picked up the phone. “I want a full lock-down.” 

The Prime Minister turned around and looked at Grumman.

“No one gets in or out of the Command. Got it?” With the phone hung up, he heaved out. “Sit down, Mister Prime Minister.” He pulled out a chair. “Believe me. Here is so much better than a cell.”

Hawkeye stepped up to the Aerugan. The pistol in her hand raised to his head.

The Prime Minister fell back and plummeted onto the chair. “This is an act of war.”

“Oh you don’t have to remind us.” Grumman took a seat next to the Aerugan. “And since you are here, might as well make yourself useful.”

AERUGO’S PLOT FOILED!

That headline was an eye-catcher. Great day for the paperboy.

Mustang smiled. It seemed like she never had the intention to marry the prince. It was just a ruse to locate and sabotage Aerugo’s stronghold that had been terrorising the South Border.

Mustang breathed out and pulled the white duffle bag up. 

The steam engine roared. That was when she appeared.

“I just want to say thank you.” Hawkeye interlaced her fingers. “Your tipoff saved thousands of lives.” She smiled.

But he did not. He was trying to think of what he should say.

“Sorry…” She still beat him. “For what I have said that day.”

“What you have said is true.”

“General—”

“I can’t go back.” He gritted his teeth. “I know that I have disappointed you, but I can’t.” A coward though he was, it was one war he could not win no matter how hard he tried.

Especially when he was his own enemy.

She frowned. It was that sorry look that he did not want to see. “Then don’t.”

He stared at her.

One step. “I can go to you.” Two steps. She was only an inch away, looking at him in the eyes. “Just...” her hand raised and held there, waiting, “...let me in.” 

He froze when her palm touched his cheek. He could burn all the logs he found. No fire had warmed him up as much as her hand.

The steam engine whistled again. 

His vision blurred. A stream of tears slipped from the corner of his eye and seeped through her fingers. “You can’t fix me.” His brows twitched.

She trembled in resonance with his pain. “I would like to try.”

She gave him her word. To accept or decline, it was his call.

“Will you follow me?” He had to ask again.

Her thumb rubbed away his tears. “If that is your wish, then even into hell.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost got carried away and went into a dead end.
> 
> It’s so hard to save these two’s relationship.


	6. The Girl from Ten Years Ago

A knock on the door raised Grumman’s head. His eyes followed his granddaughter when the latter entered the room with a glass of water in her hand.

Without a word, Hawkeye gently placed the glass on his table, not seeming to notice that her grandfather was watching her.

Grumman arched his brow. The subtle curl across her lips, and her gait that was brisk and light—they were hinting on something.

“So,” Grumman took his glasses off, “when is the wedding?” 

Hawkeye turned around and blinked. “What wedding?”

Grumman leaned back. “Your wedding, with Mustang!”

“You are having it wrong, Grandfather. I’m not marrying him.” She chuckled. She should not have chuckled. That was not his granddaughter.

“What? I thought you went to see him.”

“To say goodbye. He promised to call.” The way she said it was like talking about someone else. Someone not relevant.

Perhaps she had let him go. No one knew how much Grumman had longed for that day to come. Still… “my goodness, Riza! Have you not learnt… after nearly marrying to an eighty-year-old man?” 

Hawkeye cast her eyes down. “If that is what it takes to avoid bloodshed, I will do it again.”

Grumman stammered. He should be happy for having a patriot in his family, but why was there a sense of loss?

Buccaneer looked at Miles, who looked at Armstrong, who looked daggers at the corporal standing before her.

“Why are you here?” With her arms crossed, the general tapped her foot.

Mustang glanced at both officers behind Armstrong. “Uh… Sergeant Thaw ordered to send you a report…” He raised the folder in his hands, which was snatched away instantly.

Armstrong threw the folder into Miles’ hands. She pulled her saber out. The sharp end went to Mustang’s throat. “Tell General Grumman. If he wants to spy, don’t send his own grandson-in-law.”

“Uh… okay, but I don’t think he has a—”

“Go back to Central, Mustang! You are not welcomed here.”

Mustang gulped. “Yes, ma’am.”

“So, there is no wedding?” Ross raised her brows. “You must have been very disappointed.”

Hawkeye blinked. Why was everyone asking her if she was having a wedding? “No, lieutenant. There is nothing to be disappointed about.” Because she and Mustang were never in a relationship to begin with.

“But you proposed to him, didn’t you?”

“He had turned it down.”

Ross looked to Brosh. The latter shrugged his shoulders.

“Lieutenant Hawkeye.” 

Ross and Brosh blinked when a soldier waltzed into the office.

“Corporal Mustang!” Hawkeye beamed. “What brings you?”

Mustang scratched his head. “General Armstrong has reassigned me to Central.”

Ross and Brosh exchanged glances.

“At Central Command?”

Mustang slipped a hand into his pocket. “Maybe not. I’m actually here to find out more.” He glanced at the clock. “Shall we talk over lunch?”

Hawkeye turned to the clock. “I didn’t even notice…” then to Ross and Brosh. “Sergeant Brosh, Lieutenant Ross, do you want to join us?”

“Yeah—” Brosh choked when Ross punched him in the guts.

“No, ma’am.” Ross grinned. “The sergeant needs help on PT. I need to coach him.”

“You still need to eat, don’t you?”

“We’ll grab something light later. Please go ahead.”

“Well then, lieutenant?” Mustang asked.

“Is it just me or does everyone is staring at us?”

Hawkeye sighed. Her hands tightened around the mug. “I think it’s about the wedding.”

“Whose wedding?”

Hawkeye stared at Mustang. “Never mind. How are you doing lately?”

“Good news is, I don’t have as much nightmares as before.”

Well, that was an improvement. “And bad news?” She looked intently at him.

“I’m having trouble staying up at night.” He grinned.

Hawkeye frowned. “It seems like you are doing just fine, corporal.” After so many times, she could not believe she fell for it again. 

“I’ve been better.” He put down the bun in his hand, looking at her. “As a matter of fact…” 

Her eyes met his.

“I’m thinking to end the nightmare once and for all...” He joined his hands and formed an arch on the table. “...by going back to Ishval.”

Hawkeye looked down at the warm water in the mug she was holding. It was no surprise he had that thought. “That is challenging, considering that Ishval has dropped out of our priority.”

“I heard. It makes sense to focus on controlling South Border first.”

“Besides, an NCO does not pick his mission.” 

“Which is why I’m renewing my State Alchemist license.”

“You will be a major at best.” It was her old habit to analyze the situation to him and be blunt about it. To achieve what he wanted, his plan had to be impeccable.

“I’m not retiring at fifty.” Mustang lowered his hands on the table. “I’ve been staying away from alcohol for a year now. Maybe I’ll be a general by seventy.” 

That smile and optimism reminded her that day at her father’s funeral. 

All of Mustang’s grand schemes, though beautiful, were just as good as fairytales. But since she grew up without much to pine for, his fairytales fascinated her. 

Were they ten years younger, she would tell him he had nothing to worry about.

Ten years. The skin on her back still tingled. She could not be that girl from ten years ago. Not anymore.

“I’m screwed,” Mustang said in a daze. 

She was impressed that he came to that conclusion himself. Objectively speaking, his fairytale did have a decent framework. 

Forty years just to get it started? That was no longer intriguing.

Hawkeye laid the mug aside. “Corporal.” She looked at him in the eye. “Would you reconsider my proposal?”

The stakes just got higher. 

They might strike a fluke if they worked together.


	7. The Return of the Flame Alchemist

“Well, it’s official.”

Mustang looked at the letter on Grumman’s desk and the silver pocket watch on the letter.

Grumman pushed the paper and the silver watch to Mustang. “I suppose your former title is fine?” 

“Yes, Commander. I don’t see why it’s not.”

“I thought of giving you a new title to make it more standout. But, your flame alchemy is one of a kind. It’s safe to assume that we won’t find someone your equal, yes?”

“I would be in trouble if there is.” Mustang smiled awkwardly. He could picture Hawkeye’s rage if another Flame Alchemist appeared. 

A bullet in the head or slice into tiny pieces… He did not want to choose at all.

“You won’t regret, will you?” Grumman asked.

“No, sir.” He picked up the letter and the watch. “This is what I have been working for.”

“I mean Riza. You have given thought about it this time?”

Mustang looked at Grumman.

The old commander returned that gesture. “I won’t try to understand what is going on between the two of you.” He leaned back. “Just promise me you will treat her well. She is all that I have left.” 

It was not a threat, but an earnest request from a grandfather. That was also his blessing to their union.

“You have my word, Commander.”

Mustang saluted and came out of the Commander’s office. He stared at the letter. One hand squeezed the silver watch.

He did it. 

_ Just promise me you will treat her well. She is all that I have left. _

Mustang walked forward until he was only an inch away from the wall. He stuck his forehead against the wall. Both arms dangled by his sides. “What have I done?” He murmured.

“Corporal.”

Mustang sighed. Why did he make such a rash decision?

“Corporal.”

He even promised Grumman that he would treat her well. He was done for.

“Corporal!”

“Yes! I promise I will treat her well!” His mouth never closed back, because he was staring at her confused face. He did not even know when he had turned around.

“Are you all right?” That frown on her face was her worrying about him. “You are sweaty.” 

Before he could reply, she had taken out a handkerchief and reached it to his forehead. He wondered why her eyes went wide.

He followed her eyes and found her hand that was holding the handkerchief. Around her wrist was his own hand, which was clenching hard.

“Sorry, lieutenant!” He jumped and let go of her hand.

She was looking at him again. “Did the Commander say something weird?”

“No, no!” He kept denying it, but his high-pitched tone had given him away. “He just gave me these.” He passed her the silver watch, but… “Where is it?” He looked around while his hands patted his side pockets. The letter seemed to have slipped and dropped somewhere.

“Sir…”

“It was in my hand a while ago—” He went rigid, for she had wrapped her arms around his neck. The smell of her hair. The warmth from her face. They brought him back to those days when he was under her care. 

“I knew it was not hard for you… Congratulations, major!”

He relaxed and let out a breath. “It’s general.” He looked down. The letter was right under his eyes, behind the standing lieutenant.

She let go and stared at him.

Mustang bent down. He picked up the letter and gave it to her. “They have restored my former rank.”

Which means…

Brigadier General Roy Mustang had returned. It was only proper that she gave him a salute. “Welcome back, General Mustang!” Tears streamed from her eyes. She did not bother to read the letter. His word was enough. 

On other occasions, he might have wiped her tears away. Her pride probably would not have forgiven him if he did.

Mustang raised his hand to his temple. “Thank you, Lieutenant. It’s good to be back.”

The sleeping dog twitched his ears at the approaching footsteps.

Hawkeye crouched and unhooked the chain off the dog’s collar.

“Sorry, Black Hayate…” She ran her hand along his black coat. 

The dog finally opened his eyes.

“It’s time to go home.” She smiled.

The dog got up, yawned, and stretched himself. He followed his owner in the late of night, through the gusty wind. That had been their routine for the past few days.

Hawkeye tugged her hands into her coat. She looked at her dog, who was unperturbed by the chilly and irregular wind.

Sometimes, she wished she had his thick coat.

In a few more days, she would be off and spend time with her dog while running some errands.

_ Yes! I promise I will treat her well! _

Perhaps he was having cold feet?

Hawkeye came to a stop. She turned to her dog.

Hayate had been standing still. His snout pointed at one direction. 

“Hayate?”

All of a sudden, he dashed off.

“Hayate!”

The black dog was already out of her sight.

With her sidearm out, she ran up the stairs, just in case it was not a squirrel. 

Following the barking, she turned into the hallway. She knew exactly where she was, as her studio was only five doors away.

She saw someone standing there. Someone her dog did not approve of.

“Hayate!” She could not really see the face. Usually, if that was someone suspicious, they would have run off by the time they saw her.

It could also mean that person was bold enough and capable of doing her real harm.

“Who’s there?” The barking and her shouting would have alerted her neighbors. But in the big city, no one cared.

No answer. That was it.

“Hands in the air!” She pointed her gun as she went closer.

It was someone about her height, maybe slightly shorter. She was yet to get a face. The hood had made sure of it.

At least the hands followed order. “Are you Riza Hawkeye?”

“Who are you? State your business.” Hawkeye did not want to get too close.

“My! Is this how you treat your guest?”

A woman. But that was not a reason for Hawkeye to lower her guard.

“Sorry, my guest would not show up in the middle of the night without prior notice.”

“So you are Riza Hawkeye?”

“Why not you tell me first?”

“Fine—” 

“Stop!”

A move, even if it was just as little as a twitch, was enough to make a threat.

“Chill, will you? I’m just going to pull down the hood.” The woman reached the tip before Hawkeye could object.

A brunette with a trademark smirk. “I’m Rachael Mustang. Roy Mustang’s wife.”

Hawkeye watched her uninvited guest slowly sip in the hot tea. “I must say. This is good.” 

What would make a woman go to a stranger’s house late at night? 

“Is here where you live?” Rachael peered around. “It looks empty.” Other than fearless even at gunpoint, she was also very inquisitive.

“You said you are General Mustang’s wife?”

Rachael blinked. “That’s right.” She smirked. “We have been married for many years.” 

Many years? Hawkeye lifted her chin from her supporting hand. “How old are you?” 

Rachael choked. She put down the cup and noticed the staring. “Quit looking at me like that! I’m an adult, alright?”

Hawkeye never said anything about being a minor. Anyway...

“What are you doing?”

“Calling General Mustang. Let him know that you are here.” Hawkeye had just picked up the handset, but the door had shut itself.

A scammer perhaps? 

Hawkeye hung up. While she had some questions unanswered, it could wait.

“Warrant Officer Kain Fuery. Warrant Officer Vato Falman. Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc. First Lieutenant Heyman Breda.” Mustang lowered the list and looked at the row.

All four of his officers stood in attention.

Mustang smirked. “Consider yourself lucky to be in my service. I don’t take no as an answer.”

“Yes, General!” They roared.

“Ah!” 

All heads turned to the tall blond, who was looking up.

“Seriously? What is it again?” Breda grumbled.

“We are not going to a war, are we?” Havoc blurted. “Grace and I have just started to see each other.”

All eyes went to Mustang. 

“War?” Mustang snorted. “Not a chance.”

Everyone else in the room deflated.

Fuery covered his chest. “My heart almost stopped.”

“We will be shipped to Ishval in next two months.”

“Right…” Fuery’s smile faded. His face turned pale.

The rest of the team froze.

“Ishval?!” They cried out.

“General!” Fuery lurched forward, jolted Mustang as a result. The warrant officer reached short due to the table between them. “You are demoted? Again?”

“Demoted?” Mustang scowled.

“I knew it.” Breda blew out a breath. “This is too good to be true.”

“Where is Lieutenant Hawkeye? We really need her.” Fuery was near crying.

Mustang pointed his finger up. “Actually—” 

“Article Twenty-five,” Breda said.

“What about Article Twenty-five?” Fuery turned around.

“Married service members shall not be in service under the same unit, command, or military base,” Falman recited.

“Wait… so you are saying they are allowed to marry each other but not posted in the same command?” Fuery asked.

“That is why—”

“That is why she is not with us. Sorry, warrant officer,” said Breda.

“I miss her already.”

“We all do,” said Falman.

Mustang slammed both hands on the desk. “Enough with the chatter!”

His team stood straight, keeping their mouths shut.

Mustang stood up. “I’ve said this before and I will say it again.” He went around his desk until he came to the center. “You’re in my team. I expect nothing less than the best out of you. Be prepared.”

“Yes, general!”

Mustang slouched as he walked past the gate. He scowled again and turned. Being staring down by the stone wall, he wondered how he had missed the turn.

“General Mustang.”

There she was. 

“Lieutenant.” He walked up to her, with a hand tugged in his pocket.

“Is there somewhere else you would like to go?”

He gaped then glanced behind him. She must have seen him missing the turn. “Uh, no! Something was in my mind, so…” He just looked at her. “Care for a walk, lieutenant?” 

She beamed. “That would be nice.”

Smiling, he led the way. “I have skimmed through the guest list.”

“You did?” She sounded rather surprised.

“Yes.” He tried not to react. “Though, eighty percent of the names I can’t tell if I know them.” He gently nudged her before he switched sides with her.

“They are very important guests. Although they are invited by the Commander, knowing them would help your advancement.”

Mustang sighed. “Guess it’s time to sharpen my memory.”

“You will be fine, general.”

“Thanks for the encouragement, lieutenant.” He grinned broadly and stepped into the main court. 

A flurry greeted them. He raised his head and closed his eyes, welcoming the warmth of sunlight that wrapped about his face. The weather was perfect.

“General, are you by any chance forgetting to invite anyone?”

He turned to her. “Everyone I know is in the military. Why?”

She shook her head. “Just to be sure we haven’t missed anyone.”

Mustang stared at her. 

So she noticed. “Sir?”

“We…” He let out a laugh and turned his back to her. “Can you imagine that we have been married for more than eight years?” He watched the leafy green dancing in the breeze. It would be a waste if he did not make full use of it. 

“Signing a paper doesn’t mean that we are married.”

“Then what do you say about the wedding? Just another formality?” He turned around to face her again. “Or should I say a show to entertain my potential benefactors?”

“You know very well what it means, general.”

“I’m asking what you think.” He walked up to her.

“My opinion does not matter. What matters is that you make it to the top.”

Was his question so hard or she refused to tell him her thoughts? He lowered himself. One of his knees touched the stone tile. 

“General, what are you—” 

“You are right. We aren’t married because a paper has our signatures. A wedding won’t change that either.” He finally removed his hand from his side pocket. Pinched between his fingers was a silver ring. A clear stone glittered under the sun.

He was anticipating a gasp or some wide eyes.

She gave him none, only a glance at the ornament in his fingers. 

Was there another man before him who had done it? Or, he had left her too long to know what surprised her.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“On the contrary.” He looked at her, as if it was his first time looking up to her at that angle. “If we want to make this marriage work, even though its sole purpose is to straighten my path, a shortcut won’t do it.”

“I did propose to you. Twice.” Her cold reminder had not left him the slightest mercy.

He did not need her to. “It’s a shame that I can’t undo what had been done.” At times, he could be a damn slow learner. That added to his list of greatest regrets. “Call me an old school. A proposal should come from a man.”

She closed her eyes. “If you insist…” and opened again. “Let’s hear it.”

“Lieutenant, I’m raising to the top. Would you follow me, not as my adjutant or bodyguard, but as my wife?” If husband-and-wife is a kind of partnership, they would make a great team. As they always had. 

“You know my answer…” She raised her hand to his. “So that is cheating.”

He smiled and slipped the ring along her finger. He did not let her hand go until he had planted a kiss on her knuckle. “Only because you have made it easy.”

Cheers from the forgotten crowd reminded them how quiet it was.

He stood up with her at his side. They turned to face everyone.

“I will make it to the top.” He just wanted to assure her. Until she clasped his hand into hers, he never realized it was he who needed assurance. 

“I know.”

He let out a breath he did not even know he had held.

Every year after that, around that month, Central Command lacked no new couples to reenact that scene.

Those couples seemed to be doing well since then. 

Unlike them.

He was not trying to find an excuse. He did want to have a fresh start with her.

It just did not go as he had planned.


	8. Flame from Hell

She did not really have much to bring.

In that small studio was a bed, a wardrobe, and some boxes, which she never got to unpack since her assignment in Central.

Woof!

“I won’t forget you, Hayate!” She crouched and patted the black dog. Mustang was very kind for letting her dog live with them.

Mentioning living together…

As soldiers, especially in her team, it was not unusual that they had to sleep close or even next to each other, especially when she had to guard Mustang’s life.

But standing before a king sized bed, in their new home...

Hawkeye glanced to her left. 

Mustang was still in the same position minutes ago.

At times such as this, it was probably best if the woman spoke first.

"General..."

"Yes, Lieutenant!" 

She watched his eyes drift away from hers. "I just want to tell you that nothing has changed." While she appreciated his effort for trying to be a man he was not, she never wanted him to impose himself and be uncomfortable.

That breath he let out acknowledged her thought, but surprise quickly took over. "What do you mean, Lieutenant?" 

The furrow on her face grew. Must she rip herself to show him? "I don't deny that I have feelings for you, sir." She lowered her head. "But I do not intend to let it grow.” She was never a greedy person. He knew better.

He took a deep breath and exhaled again. "I'm sorry, Hawkeye. I let my greed hijack your life."

She shook her head. "I volunteered. Perhaps a part of me wants it to be true." She smiled. They both agreed on this. He should not shoulder everything on his own.

"I'm not sure if I am capable of giving you what you want." His brows knitted. "After all that I have taken."

When she was his adjutant, he never needed to tiptoe around her. What changed that?

"You have misunderstood me, sir." She turned around, walked to the dresser. Her fingers glided on the surface. 

New home. New room. New bed. All in place for newly-weds. Even more so when there was her wardrobe—a gift by her grandfather on her birthday—in their room.

"I am not asking anything in return.” Otherwise, she would have told him. “What I want I will attain it myself. You just need to focus on your goal." Her objective had never changed. Even now.

"That's it, huh?" Smirking, he tucked a hand into his side pocket. "No equivalent exchange? It isn’t fair to you."

She turned to face him again. "Just take what you need, General. I will not be your liability unless you make it. Just like the old days." She married him to help him rise to the top, not to hold him back. 

"Be careful, Lieutenant." He faked a smile. "One day, you will regret that you have offered yourself to a monster." 

He did not have to warn her. "It seems like you have forgotten, sir." Her eyes pierced his. "I made that monster." The day she revealed the secret on her back. "He is my liability." 

He widened his eyes, then walked up to her. "It's contradicting, don't you think? You do not want to be my liability, yet you make me yours." He leaned over her, forced her back against the wall, and breathed out to her ear. "So, I want to know... How far would you bear with me?"

"Push me away, Hawkeye." He murmured, hands pulling up her skirt. "Else, I will burn you again."

She clenched her fists. Jaws tightened. 

His hand went to her thigh, caressing it. He did not wait to go further, where no man was allowed to.

He did not have to test her. If that was what he wanted, she would give it to him.

She trembled silently as he unclasped her hair clip. Her eyes gazed at the monster she was about to feed.

"As you wish..." He threw her to the bed. 

He mentioned that he wanted an heir, and her very first night started with a scream. 

The pain was so sudden that it blurred her vision. Only when he hushed her that she noticed the stream that trickled across her temples.

The pause gave her time to look at him. When she saw the curl of his lip and the dullness in his eyes, her squirm stopped.

Compared to her mind, her body was faster in perceiving his message.

_ How far would you bear with me? _

As if her cooperation was not enough, he pinned her wrists onto the bed, right above her head. 

He asked her to hold her resentment. That kiss was his last act of compassion. Instead, his inhumanly warm lips scorched hers. 

She could not resist the cry that escaped her throat when he pulled out from her brutally. Her back arched at the repeated shear.

The fire demon clamped her down, scourging her with fire from hell. 

Her eyes squinched shut. A surge warmed her womb and drew an end to their consummation. She did not open her eyes. Should she? 

One drop. Two and three. Her drenched forehead pried her eyelids.

She watched it rain, wondering whom he had lost this time.

She never knew when he had freed her. And somehow, those hands—previously trapped and reddened by him—had reached up to his head.

She embraced him to her chest. That very act exacerbated his weep that it turned into a bawl. He could not stop himself until he had fallen asleep.

If he was a monster, what would that make her?

She opened her eyes at the chirp of an early riser. She turned her head to her right. 

Mustang was sleeping on his belly, barely making any sound from his breathing. He was as naked as she was. With nothing to cover themselves, they had been sleeping on the unpeeled comforter the whole night. A cold could have seized them had the temperature not suddenly spiked the night before.

She sat up. A pull in her stomach bent her over. She kept her voice in her throat and left the bed. 

Her bare feet scuffled on the hardwood floor. Blood, a drop or two, followed her steps.

She came under the shower head. Her palms slapped against the tiled wall. A few turns on the knob and the icy cold water poured onto her. She tilted her head up, welcoming the numbness it brought.

Lowering her head again, she watched the clear red water wash the floor and rush to the drain. It seemed like she had to stay in the shower for a while.

“Do you hate me?”

She snapped up her head, but she did not turn. 

“You can’t look at me, can you?”

“Do you want the truth?” All she heard was the splashing sound of water. “It hurt.” She turned around to face him. “It hurt even more when you don’t even trust me.” 

His eyes drifted away. 

“What are you so afraid of?” She frowned. It was not entirely out of anger. Could he not tell that she was worried? “Roy… I’m your wife.” 

He instantly faced her. Perhaps he was surprised that she had called his first name. Perhaps it was because she had leveraged their relationship to coerce him to listen to her. 

After she promised not to be his liability.

She no longer cared if what she did was right or wrong. She just knew how much she hated watching him wallow in pain and face his demon alone.

He reached behind her and turned off the shower. His eyes confronted her. “That dream… it has returned.”

She blinked her eyes. “Since when?”

“Who knows.” He sighed. “Maybe a few weeks ago.”

“Is it about Ishval?” Though he never told her what it was about, she had seen him being terrorized by that nightmare. He could not stop shivering and sweating. Face as if seeing ghosts.

Compared to before, he seemed to be more prepared. Whether he was masking himself or not, she could not tell. After that fight with Bradley, she could no longer read him.

Unless he let her in.

“General?” 

“Are you that interested in some frivolous dream?”

“That is certainly not something that can be dismissed when you keep on having it.”

He pushed her aside, and her back hit against the wall. “You really want to help?” He lurched at her and grabbed her shoulders. “I know exactly how you can do it.” His mouth muted hers. She turned her neck hard to her right, breaking away from him.

They both panted for air. 

He waited, but her face had turned away and remained so. “Am I that detestable?”

“This is not how I want us to be, sir.” By addressing him, she tried to evoke his decency. 

Instead, he met her with a silent glare. “Too bad.” He pressed his weight forward, squeezing her. “You have made that choice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roy finally became what he feared.
> 
> The long caged demon now reigns.
> 
> Nothing will stop him.


End file.
